How can I minimize conflicts while working with a school to develop a good IEP for my child -- while protecting my child's rights?

By Dorene J. Philpot Attorney at Law
http://www.dphilpotlaw.com

Try your best to sustain relationships.
Whether or not we personally like our child's teachers, school psychologist, school social worker, principal or other administrative personnel, we are stuck with them unless we move. If we move, we will be stuck with new school officials with whom we have conflict. Or new, difficult people will be promoted into established positions.

In any event, we have to learn to work with people we do not understand, agree with or get along with. They are there, and will be there all year, year after year. Getting personally angry with them, even if they deserve it, leads to hostility down the line.

Now hostility can have its place, as in a lawsuit or a Due Process Hearing. However, if parties get that far, any chance for a working relationship is dead. Because it is in the best interests of our children to have a cohesive team working toward a common goal, parents must take a leadership role in sustaining the team atmosphere.

It is not enough to come into a meeting periodically and make demands, even legitimate, legal demands. You must model the behavior we want to draw out in our children's IEP team.

If we want the other team members to be patient, prepared, and educated about the child's needs, we must set the standard. Therefore you must:

• Attempt to understand them and the demands on their time.
• Be patient with them as they learn our child's method of learning.
• Be prepared and secure helpful test results on our child's development, articles or other related materials, and then share them.
• Be as educated or more educated about the objective realities of the child's disability so that you can talk to other team members as peers.